I’m sitting on my couch with my jacket on. I’ve been here 30 minutes, which is how long ago I should have stepped out the front door. 

I have a follow-up at the cancer center for more scans to see if a few masses have changed/grown. And despite the fact that I have five different places to stop by before picking S up from the bus stop, my bum remains glued to this couch. Shivering, because my jacket is flimsy and I turned the heat off 30 minutes ago. 

I hate how paralyzingly of a force cancer continues to be in my life.