I’ve been in a deep, dark pit for several weeks. There is no light, and hope is gone. I am a hologram, fading in and out of the scene of life that busily moves by. My brain knows there are bright truths that I can cling to but there are some days when the darkness overwhelms.

Why is joy so challenging? It is like the wind, impossible to capture and always fleeting. I know the truths of the gospel in my heart. I believe them fully. I have such hope for the future. But if so–why is my spirit trapped in these dark pits for days on end? Why do these joy-filled words fall flat on my dehydrated heart? I feel like such a fraud, such a failure. I want to quit everything but can’t, and this steals breath from my deepest core.

Depression is mysterious and evil.